YouTube teacher Elisha ben Yabbadabbadoo has an amazing story to tell about when his soul left his body and he found out that Heaven was Catholic purgatory.
"Well, I am the YouTube teacher for the pagan police, I have 2 viewers in Israel and my job is to expose paganism", says Mr Yabbadabbadoo. "I realized that water is pagan, because pagans drink water, food is pagan because....well pagans eat food. Did you know that toilet paper is not mentioned in the Bible? But I heard once that Alister Crowley used toilet paper so no toilet paper for me. I temporarily died of starvation and dehydration and I was taken to heaven where all paganism can't exist. I was in a white room. No bed, no table, no air conditioning none of those pagan things."
When Yabbadabbadoo's wife noticed he wasn't breathing paramedics attempted to rehydrate him and inserted within him a feeding tube. Though in a coma for 2 weeks he was finally revived. When asked in the hospital what he thought of the feeding tube he said he will have to research if it is kosher to see if any pagans ever had a feeding tube. Though he says he says he has plans to sue the hospital for giving him a pagan bed and a pagan nightstand and a pagan tv in his room. His youtube followers are also up in arms and nearly a dozen of them have been picketing outside the hospital, without signs, because they claim Paul Bunion was a pagan and cut wood.
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Here is the notes for the live study broadcast at 8pm EST on Friday on Zoom.
The sacred name community is buzzing over the discovery of a new discovery. Found within the hills of the Appalachian Mountains of Boone North Carolina, Apostle Prophet Yah ben Yah was on a trek.
"Well I was doing some work for the Appalachian Bigfoot society, trying to find droppings or just anything we can find" ben Yah says. "And a native American man approached me with this scroll, he said Yahbadabbadoo said to give it to me, he knew my name and even my real hair color. He handed over the scroll with some anointed tzitzit that will help me to stop the nephilim alien invasion."
Ben Yah continues, "He said, 'In two years YahbadabbaShua will return and you need to translate this and publish it soon.' I said, 'Two years?! OMG! That's tomorrow!'. And so I got home and started translating."
Sacred name scholars are stunned. "This is an extremely important find, we see there isn't any vowel markers and the penmanship is impeccable" says Abba Alohym from Christians are Pagan Ministries.
The scholars at 'Yahbadabbadoo Sacred Name International LLC met at an undisclosed head shop and they all unanimously agreed on this document's authenticity. They said to expect the first edition of their Bible after they learn how to use find and replace on Microsoft Word.
Theological Insights from Rabbi Eved Banah the North American Rebbe of Ani Judaism