Paul Wilbur has been a staple of Messianic congregations for over 30 years. Shoshanna bat David, the leader of a Messianic congregation in south central Florida decided to mix it up a bit for Shabbat service and decided to play Joel Chernoff and Gad Elbez and Ya'akov Sweekey.
"When the sounds came on through the sound system and I heard the words 'aleph bass gimmel' I knew something wasn't right. Honestly.....I was slightly excited at first because I thought it may be a track from the Paul Wilbur vaults. But then when I didn't hear 'praise Adonai' once I knew something was amiss" claims congregation member Joseph Manard.
The rabbi of the congregation said, "Ya know...we can handle maybe a rendition of Bo Yeshua or Gadol Elohai by Joshua Aaron. But not having 90% of the songs during our dividic dancing being Paul Wilbur shows me our former davidic dancing leader is outside of the camp and needs to repent."
The synagogue's assembly of elders is looking into pre-approved Dividic dance leaders at the moment that only owns 5 CDs and 4 of them needs to be Paul Wilbur. It has been said if they own Paul Wilbur cassette tapes or 8 tracks they will be hired on the spot.
When Pastor Shimmy Shim Shake was reading Proverbs 25:19 one day he discovered the source of Joel Osteen's amazing persuasive power. The verse reads "Like a bad toothed an unsteady foot is confidence in a faithless man in times of trouble". Upon this discovery he realized that Joel Osteen's power and influence is directly related to his choppers.
Theories have swarmed for years about Osteen's clydesdale choppers. Pastor Shake exclaimed "They are a bright light, they reflect light all around and you have to wear sunglasses if sitting in Osteen's first 10 rows of his church. Yeshua said, we are to be the light of the world. So I had replicas made from the molds of the famous tv horse Mr Ed and I plan to have them surgically implanted into my mouth so that I can show the light of the Torah to the world."
The surgery is scheduled for August 21st 2020. "I'm not so worried about the surgery as I am about the end of there world coming in September of 2020, I hope I am able to get onto YouTube and my church's pulpit to speak about there amazing power of the light of the teeth to bring many to graft into Israel before Yeshua's return in September" claims Pastor Shake.
According to a report from the state of Alabama, hebrew roots teacher Rabbi Pastor Apostle Bishop Prophet Maricio Mendoza Sanchez Esquire Ben Yabbadabbadoo claims he has gotten information from a YouTube video by QAnon who heard from Bigfoot after Bigfoot after captured by the Loch Ness Monster on a spy mission orchestrated by the Men in Black in conjunction with the Illuminati during the time of testing the fluoride in the water to make the frogs gay that was initiated by the reptilians living underground in Antartica in the hallow flat earth that the Coronavirus came from cans of monster energy drinks that have incorporated within them miniature 5G towers inside the bans.
"YaThis Yahis Yaha Yahmajor Yahprophecy Yahunfolding Yahbefore Yahour Yaheyes" claims Rabbi Pastor Apostle Bishop Prophet Maricio Mendoza Sanchez Esquire Ben Yabbadabbadoo. Rabbi Pastor Apostle Bishop Prophet Maricio Mendoza Sanchez Esquire Ben Yabbadabbadoo claims that the book of revelation in a secret Paleo-Hebrew document of the book of Revelation he found in the jungles of Arizona prove that monster energy drinks are the mark of the beast to bring about the tribulation.
The codex of Revelation 13:18 (shown above) dubbed the Steven Pidgeon YahCodex Yah is being tested for it's validity including paper, ink and scribal script by many independent Hebrew Roots YouTube scholars. They have all come to the consensus the codex is authentic and that it proves the prophecies about a flat earth and Jewish control of the world correct. The two house movement says this verse in the codex also proves that those who discovered this codex are true Israelites because the text shows their same physical features.
Theological Insights from Rabbi Eved Banah the North American Rebbe of Ani Judaism