Hebrew Roots Pastor Gets Joel Osteen Surgery

When Pastor Shimmy Shim Shake was reading Proverbs 25:19 one day he discovered the source of Joel Osteen's amazing persuasive power.  The verse reads "Like a bad toothed an unsteady foot is confidence in a faithless man in times of trouble".  Upon this discovery he realized that Joel Osteen's power and influence is directly related to his choppers.  

Theories have swarmed for years about Osteen's clydesdale choppers.  Pastor Shake exclaimed "They are a bright light, they reflect light all around and you have to wear sunglasses if sitting in Osteen's first 10 rows of his church.  Yeshua said, we are to be the light of the world.  So I had replicas made from the molds of the famous tv horse Mr Ed and I plan to have them surgically implanted into my mouth so that I can show the light of the Torah to the world."

The surgery is scheduled for August 21st 2020.  "I'm not so worried about the surgery as I am about the end of there world coming in September of 2020, I hope I am able to get onto YouTube and my church's pulpit to speak about there amazing power of the light of the teeth to bring many to graft into Israel before Yeshua's return in September" claims Pastor Shake.

---